I knew long ago that it is what it is, but for so long I tried to hold on and pretend that things were going to go the way I wanted  them to. I should have learned from my own experiences that you can’t change that which  doesn’t want to change. Change is scary because it is different from what we are used to, taking that step towards the unknown can prove to be to daunting for some. Fortunately for me I was able to make that first step towards the unknown and get past the fear of what if, really I should be used to it by now since I have done it more than once. There are worse things than the unknown, and sometimes the unknown can be a wonderful thing.

Hot breath in my face

Eyes, love looking back

Never changing, always happy

It’s November 18th and there is still no snow on the ground, which really isn’t a big deal to me, I don’t ski and haven’t been snowboarding since Nathan was in grade 8. (For those who don’t know he’s in university now). I was driving home the other day and after seeing my third motorcycle I realized that it is the third week in November and people can still ride. Now you might be reading this and wondering what the hell does this have to do with the fact that a) I still hate money and b) I wish I had some. Well if you know me which most of you don’t ( all three of you) you’d know that I really want a motorcycle, I had one given to me but it was in horrible shape and I never did get it going. The fact that there where people riding this late in the year just brought that desperation and longing back to the forefront  again and if I had money I would surely have one by now. Maybe one of these days I will get my bike and then I can stop wishing I had one and move on to other things, but for now I will curse money and long to have more.

I was a great husband and a pretty good Dad too, in my opinion. I know there are others out there who might not feel the same way, and they are entitled to their opinion, but since this is my blog I can say what I like. I had a hand in raising my sons up to being pretty special young men and am quite proud of the way they are turning out. As far as the husband thing went I think I did a good job of it while I was one. I’ve talked to friends and am amazed that some of their wives are still out of jail, or maybe I just did more than I needed to, hard to say.

It’s time once again for the season of Joy and Love to begin at work. By this I mean that Christmas season is once again upon us. For those of us in the retail business the holidays are both a blessing and a curse at the same time. We enjoy the increased business and the general feel of  accomplishment in getting through a hectic time to come out on the other side looking forward to a well deserved rest. On the flip side of that coin is the craziness and frustration that comes from people leaving their shopping to late or blaming us if what they want they can not have. Too little time and not enough for thought is enough to get on any buddies nerves, while we never seem to have the time to do our own shopping. We will get through it though and on the big day everything will be as it should be and happiness will rule the day.

I my last post I complained about bad service, I referenced the bar that I frequent on Fridays for my week end libations. Well I was back there on Friday and I believe I made my point. The waitress was pleasant and attentive which made our visit and in doing so earned herself a $20 tip, thus reaffirming my faith in good service good tip.

In a industry that makes it living in tips I can’t believe the bad service I have had over the last two weeks in bars. Now I wouldn’t say anything if I wasn’t talking from experience but I spent my time in the food and beverage industry as a waiter and a bartender so I speak from a bit of past knowledge. What the fuck, are they hiring mentally challanged waitresses these day or what? You know the ‘mentally handicapped’ take more pride in what they do, than the servers I have had over the past while. It’s a hard job and it’s not for everyone, if you can’t do it be true to yourself and get the hell out. There are other jobs and there are people who can get me my beer before my mouth is so dry that I could light a match on my tongue, just by touching it. We as a group regularly go out for drinks on Fridays, I collect the money and pay the bill. I am quite generous in the tip, because:

1 I was in the business

2 I tip well for good service, I know where they make there money

I was in a bar where I regularly have the waitress say to me ” Are you sure you want to leave this as a tip?” where I left only 3 dollars on a 100 dollar tab. This night when I was out I honestly thought of leaving asking for 20 cents back on a $3.75 beer, and I only gave the waitress $4.00, but I am much to mellow for that….well unless this continues then watch out.

It’s been a little over a month now and I am getting used to living by myself. It still is a bit unusual since I have been with someone for such a long time. I am getting used to, things will only get done if I do them, I kinda like  that. I don’t see my boys as often as I would like, since they are grown and have lives of there own, things to do and girls to chase and so on. I have to remember to make a extra effort to call them more often. Things change and it takes a little while to get used to those changes, but I’m getting used to it.

I tend to talk and talk, but sometimes what I say is not what I want to come out of my mouth. Why can’t we be telepaths, wouldn’t that make things easier. I mean we would need to be able to keep or thoughts private, but when we wanted to express ourselves letting someone look directly into your thoughts would alleviate any misunderstandings or at least allow them to see your intention. Sometimes the words roll off the tongue before the brain has had a chance to edit them. Maybe thats the answer, we should have a edit button.  Then you’d have a way to remove the stupid shit that you say, well atleast I would.

Change

Is this right

Clouded thoughts

Unsure paths

Wonder and worry

New